Snippet: Improv

30 09 2014

I finished two lovely cushions recently for my bedroom and they were immediately stolen by my children. And so, I’m starting again! This one was fun to make with my own screen printed images and some improv. My new studio design wall made it even more fun!

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I am not getting much computer time at the moment and there’s so much I want to share that I thought I would start writing these little posts direct from my phone. More soon.





Mummy do it

20 08 2012

Both of my blogs are a little neglected at the moment. Time is a factor but also I am stuck in one of my blogging loops where I am late posting something I want to post, but I don’t have the time and mental space to do it. So it becomes like a traffic jam in my head. I must not do anything to do with blogging before I write such and such a post.

Well I am giving myself permission to just forget about it and write instead. I will get to writing the letters to my children and doing something to mark the passing of Piran’s third birthday too. But for now, this is the post that I NEED to write.

Piran is a cautious and very particular soul. In true two or three year old style he wants things to be done in a certain way or he is not happy at all. I know that this is him testing boundaries and making sense of his place in the world, learning to be independent as well as sticking to me like glue!

The problem is that he insists that I do almost everything for him. If Mr C tries to do anything, make his drink, read his story, put him to bed, sit with him, get him a snack then all hell breaks loose.

Once again I find myself wishing there was a bloody manual for this sort of thing. It is incessant and is having a bad effect on all involved. Mr C is hurt and frustrated. I am overworked (ha!) and unable to get anything done when I need to do it.

Please, has anyone been through this before? How did you deal with it. Should we pander to it and wait for him to forget and just grow out of it or is it time to knock it on the head? Is there a way of doing that that doesn’t involve screaming all day because I am not sure that I can take it.

Oh we love the boy so much but things like this get me all twisted up in parental guilt and unable to think straight and make a plan of how to handle it. Mr C starts being away all week again in a couple of weeks and obviously when I am alone there is only me to do it anyway, but Mr C still wants to do things with Piran and I don’t want the 48 hours a week that he will be home to be full of battles and upsets.

All advice gratefully received. I will send you a biscuit for your time.*

Is it any wonder when Daddy does things like this?

*I am not responsible for any treats that may get lost in the post.**

** Eaten by me before posting.





Picture postcards from Cornwall

7 08 2012

Dear Everyone,
My hangover from Saturday night has finally gone and despite the dodgy weather we are making the most of our trip.
Love, Kelly





Social Gathering Arithmetic

4 08 2012

Me + strangers = awkward
Me + lager + hiding place = tipsy
Me + tipsy + strangers = better
Me + more lager + tipsy = bit loud
Me + bit loud = embarrassing
Me + more lager + bit loud = bit drunk
Me + bit drunk + parents = disaster
Me + bit drunk + crisps = tipsy – empty stomach
Me + bit drunk + iPhone = blog post.

Smooches x





Picture postcards from Cornwall

31 07 2012

Dear Everyone,
We are having a wonderful birthday week in Cornwall. Wish you were here.
Love,
Kelly





Not here. Instead I’m…

26 07 2012

trying to cope with the heat.
resting and looking after myself.
practicing my photography for Manual Overdrive.
working on my hand sewing for my Handstitched Class.
reading a whole book!
spending time with Mr C.
packing to go to Cornwall.
spending time in the garden.
marvelling at my flowering Thalictrum.
getting out and about.
playing with water.
singing to Kate.
watching films with Piran.
wrapping presents.
planning birthdays.
writing cards.
making my house presentable for others.
enjoying beautiful early mornings.
watching 24.
thinking.
looking forward to spending two whole weeks together as a family.

Thalictrum





Fade away

20 07 2012

Just over three months ago I left my job that I had been doing for eight years. When I went back to work after my second lot of maternity leave it just didn’t feel right anymore. I just felt like I didn’t care about the job any longer. And that made me think that it was time to move on, to do something new and exciting and that I would want to do as opposed to ended up doing.

I now work one day a week for a sewing shop in Eastbourne, keeping their website and blog up to date, their facebook and twitter, and many other bits and pieces in between. I thought that this would be the perfect postion for me, putting together my online skills and experience with my love of making and sewing and fabric.

On paper it is just that. But actually I find myself feeling just like I did when I went back to work before. And that really, really scares me.

Tiredness and Postnatal depression have robbed me of my passion and love of being organised, getting a job done, throwing myself into a task and not stopping until I have given everything I have and done the best job I can.

That scares me so much. That has always been such an integral part of me. This work ethic, the drive to do well, to impress, to be the best I can at something. Without that I just feel so flat and dull and nothing.

Instead I am now fighting apathy every step of the way. I am so very tired all of the time. Sleep doesn’t seem to have much of an effect neither does rest or time off or time alone. I have no pride in anything at the moment. Not in my work, or my home or my accomplishments. Projects I had been working on have been discarded and forgotten about. I feel a sadness and a futility so deep down that no matter how much I try I can’t fight the tide. I am sinking into myself and I don’t know what to do.

This was probably the worst time to start a new job. I feel that I have let myself down and let everyone else down. I am just going through the motions. I am vacant and not paying 100% of attention. I am dull and lifeless and perhaps I will just fade away. I don’t recognise this person and I don’t like this person. I am worried that leaving that job was the wrong thing to do, that I should have stayed where it was safe and just waited it out.

I want to be vibrant and fun. I want to have passion for something and I want to inspire others. I want to teach, to remember what it was that gave me light and hope and that spark and get it back. I want to get up in the morning and look forward to the day ahead. I want there to be light at the end of my tunnel. I want to have a smile on my face.