Checking in, checking out

13 10 2011

At my PND support group each week we ‘check in’ when we arrive and ‘check out’ when we leave. Just a few short sentences to say how we are feeling, before and after the group. I am usually surprised by what I say, I guess because you only really think about it when asked.

So, checking in: Tonight I am anxious, as I have been for quite a few days now. I am up and down hour by hour but today has been a good day. Piran and I had a lovely day, including some time with just the two of us.

It has been an odd couple of weeks. Mum was here and Mr C was away. We had a great week where I did lots of lovely things but I felt pretty crappy most of the time. Then she went home and I always feel low after that because oh I miss her so much. Piran keeps asking where ‘Ma-Ma’ is and that makes it even harder. They had a wonderful time though, the two of them. Grandparents are quite amazing things aren’t they? The time and energy that they can give the small people in their life is just wonderful. I am too tired to play, too busy but Grandma will go on a trip to the park that lasts for 3 hours and every one comes home all rosy cheeked and happy.

Anyway. I am trying to stay positive and take note of the things that make me feel good, or that make me laugh. It is a shame when a laugh is a notable event in your day to day life (days should be full of laughter) but at least it makes me sit up and notice and appreciate them. My happiness jar is filling up with memories when I remember (or when nice people on Twitter tell me to do it). But here are some things that never fail to make me smile.

A spontaneous hug from Piran :: The smell of rain on hot pavements :: Piran’s dancing :: The silence of a house when all babies are sleeping :: Kate’s laugh :: A letter from a friend :: Conkers :: A walk by the sea :: A cup of tea and a chat with a friend :: A phone call from my mum :: Tickling Piran :: Watching Kate and Piran play together :: Cuddling Mr C :: A sleepy Piran :: The smile Kate gives me first thing in the morning :: The crunch of leaves beneath my feet :: Waking up naturally 

And so, onwards and upwards. Tomorrow morning marks the start of our very first ever week away on holiday (Cornwall doesn’t count) as a family of four. I have hardly packed but I will just throw everything together tomorrow morning. We have all day to head to the North Norfolk coast and I am looking forward to it so much. I can’t wait to spend some time with Mr C and just enjoy ourselves. The house sitter will be here watching our Sky plus and we will be away from wifi and all things computery. Well except our phones but whether they work will depend on 3G. I am looking forward to it and nervous about it in equal measures.

Checking out: I am happy that after three nights of trying I have finally found time to write a blog post. I am excited about my holiday. I would love it if you would let me know in the comments what never fails to make you smile.

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