16 03 2007

Look! I managed to think of a title. Actually it just came to me in a slightly hungover style flash of inspiration.
So I have decided what this caper shall entail for me today. If anything tea related happens I will record it faithfully here and by the end of the day we will have an epic story of love and betrayal  caffeine, milk and sugar. At particular points during the day I will email it to you and to my blog, which should really confuse anyone that it reading.
So we begin our tale at a very early 7.30 am.
7.30am     Arrive at work. Only one other person here who immediately makes me a cuppa. Today is off to a good start. Ask for sugar because although I am meant to have given it up I feel that I need it after a few drinks last night.
7.35am    Well, it would be if the tea was any good. Can’t put my finger on exactly what is wrong as my powers of deduction are pretty rubbish at this time of the morning. I am going for too strong, not enough milk. Although it also tastes curiously like just hot water. I suspect that it has been made with water from the coffee machine instead of the special ‘hot enough to make a cup of tea’ tap.
7.45am    Tea tastes vaguely sweet the whole way down and then ‘Bam!’ the last mouthful contains all the sugar. Feel slightly queasy now.
8.35am    More people have arrived at work and it is time for the usual Friday shenanigans to begin. On Friday my team play a game where one of us sets a question and the person that gets it the most wrong gets the next round of drinks and then gets to set the next question.
8.40am First question is posed by Mouldy:

Today’s question concerns Beavers.

“Beaver dams are created both as a protection against predators, such as coyotes, wolves and bears, and to provide easy access to food during winter. Destroying a beaver dam without removing the beavers takes a lot of effort, especially if the dam is downstream of an active lodge. Beavers can rebuild such primary dams overnight, though they may not defend secondary dams as vigorously.”

How high, in feet, was the largest beaver damn ever recorded? This was in Three Forks, Montana!

Funnily enough, this sparks a long discussion with such gems as…is that from the bottom of the river?…how deep is the river?…is it an uber beaver?

9.04am    The results are out…

So the damn was 14 ft high, 2,140 feet long and 23 ft thick.

Winner The Jackal with 12.5ft

Dancinfairy 12ft

Nice but Dim 36ft

The Boss 43ft

So get em in please Boss!

9.06am    Disaster Strikes! Our much loved tray has gone missing! Our bosses boss really hates it because it is battered and stained and loved. We fear she has done something horrible to it. Mouldy calls her a name and The Boss wanders off to the tea area anyway.

9.12am The boss arrives with the tea, making two journeys because he has no tray. I make the mistake of asking whether he made it with skimmed milk because it looks a little wishy washy. Mental note, don’t do that again. Boss is the main advocate of me not having sugar in my tea so this has none.

9.25am    It tastes funny. I think it is because he used the water from the machine not from from the tap.

9.31am    The Boss opens a cupboard and the tray is found! Of course it is in the stationary cupboard. Silly us.

9.54am     No sign of new question. Harrassment of boss will follow. Hoping I lose so I could get a decent cuppa!

9.55am    First report submitted.




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